Hetalia, Please
by Invisibleamericanburgers
Summary: Ya know that you wanna be a Hetalian please. Different songs to Countries to the song of 'Canadian Please'. If you don't laugh, I would probably die.
1. Canada Please

Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please

Even if in winter things tend to freeze

We've got the world monopoly on trees

And our country's bordered by three different seas

.

Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please

We invented the zipper, we've got expertise

We made insulin to combat disease

Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please

.

Brits have got the monarchy

The US has the money

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

The French have got the wine and cheese

Koalas chill with the Aussies

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

Et si ce n'était pas assez

On a deux langues officielles:

L'anglais et le français

Ooh la la

.

Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please

Where else do you find mounted police

Or go to the hospital and not pay fees

Yeah I know that you wanna be Canadian, please

.

And when freshwater is in high demand

We've got the world's largest supply on hand

So you know that we could make a pretty good friend

But it's even better if you can be...

.

Brits have got the monarchy

The US has the money

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

The French have got the wine and cheese

Koalas chill with the Aussies

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

So you're thinking to yourself,

"How do I live in this beautiful country?"

Well we've got some steps for you to follow...

.

STEP 1: Lose the gun

STEP 2: Buy a canoe

STEP 3: Live multiculturally

STEP 4: You're ready, there is no more!

.

We got beavers, caribou and moose

We got buffalos, bears, and Canadian goose

And we're sorry about Celine Dion

But she did do that good song for James Cameron...

.

Brits have got the monarchy

The US has the money

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

The French have got the wine and cheese

Koalas chill with the Aussies

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

The Greek chilled out with Socrates

Can't build a wall like the Chinese

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

.

In Kenya they have safaris

We've missed lots of other countries

But I know that you wanna be Canadian

* * *

**I did the oringal, so this is actually what the original is. The second one out is America, and I am working on France. :)**


	2. America, Geez

Yeah I know that you wanna be American, geez

Even in summer when there is no breeze

We got the world monopoly on being free

and our land is bordered by two strange Countries

.

Yeah I know that you wanna be American, geez

We invented the plane, we got expertise

We made Red Cross to combat disease

Yeah I know that you wanna be American, geez

.

The Brits have the stupid tea

The best hot dogs are in Germany

But I know that you wanna be American

.

The French have all the wine and cheese

You never want to be a Commie

But I know that you wanna be American

.

(Language Barrier Skipping Part)

.

Yeah I know that you wanna be American, geez

Where else can you drive and eat at Micky D's

Where you can go to the Hospital for being stupid and pay the fees

Yeah I know that you wanna be American, geez

.

Where freedom is in high demand,

We got the largest supply on hand

So you know that we'd make an awesome friend

But it'd be better if you can….

.

The Brits have the stupid tea

The best hot dogs are made in Germany

But I know that you wanna be American

.

The French have all the wine and cheese

You never want to be a Commie

But I know that you wanna be American

.

So you are thinking to yourself,

"How do I live in this awesome Country"

Well we got some steps for you to follow.

.

STEP 1: Buy a gun

STEP 2: Get some shoes

STEP 3: Annoy the Brits

STEP 4: You did it! There is no more.

.

We got Spanish, Irish, and Cuban Immigrants,

We got Tourists, Terrorists, and Russian Irritants

We're sorry about Miley Cyrus,

Though her name was once Hannah Montana

.

The Brits have the stupid tea

The best hot dogs are made in Germany

But I know that you wanna be American

.

The French have all the wine and cheese

You never want to be a Commie

But I know that you wanna be American

.

The Aussies chill out with Alligators,

Japanese make our generators,

But I know that you wanna be American

.

Please do not drive like the Chinese

We missed a lot of other Countries

But I know that you wanna be American.

* * *

**Hope I made you all laugh! If you want another Country, you have to give me 7 rhyming facts, and who they really hate in the world. (Country wise) France could be next... though its a bit weird.**


	3. France, Oui

Oui, I know that you wanna be French, like Moi

Even when we live next to the enemy

We got the world monopoly of handsome boys

And we love strange food like nobody.

.

Oui, I know that you wanna be French, like Moi

We invented L'amour, we got the expertise

We made dentistry to combat mouth disease

Oui, I know that you wanna be French, like Moi

.

Ze Brits have their horrible foods

Ze Canadians and their nice moods,

But I know that you want to be French

.

Ze Americans have the fat and grease

Ze Chinese are complete monstrosities

But I know that you want to be French

.

Et si ce n'était pas assez

On a deux langues officielles:

L'anglais et le français

Ooh la la

.

Oui, I know that you wanna be French, like Moi

Where else can you find men so coy

Where you can go to ze Hospital and not pay fees

Oui, I know that you wanna be French, like Moi

.

When L'amour is in high demand,

We got the largest supply on hand

So we can be the_ best_ of friends

But it's even better if you can…

.

Ze Brits have their horrible foods

Ze Canadians and their nice moods,

But I know that you want to be French

.

Ze Americans have the fat and grease

Ze Chinese are complete monstrosities

But I know that you want to be French

.

So you are thinking to yourself,

"How do I live in such a beautiful land?"

We have some steps for you to follow…

STEP 1. Love everyone

STEP 2. Watch out for revolts

STEP 3. Insult Brittan

STEP 4. You did it, there is no more.

.

We got chocolate cakes, souffles, and pies

We got great taste in cooking, so you don't die

We're so sorry about our 'Neighbor'

But we did win that one war against them...

.

Ze Brits have their horrible foods

Ze Canadians and their nice moods,

But I know that you want to be French

.

Ze Americans have the fat and grease

Ze Chinese are complete monstrosities

But I know that you want to be French

.

Ze Italians with their great tastes

Ze Greece with their natural grace

But I know that you want to be French

.

Ze Egyptians drive like the Chinese

And we missed a lot of other Countries

But I know that you want to be French

* * *

**There is France. This is rated T for a reason, and I think this would only be the one who would ever really need that. Seriously, it was tough writing this. Mainly because it was hard to write his perverted POV, because I am naturally not ...well. Perverted. :P**


End file.
